What are you supposed to do when someone who loves you and treats you like you’re their world. Calls you beautiful ever day, tells you you’re amazing. Without a doubt with no filter tell you everything on their mind. It’s so cheesy, but cute. :) ; anyways, what are you supposed to do when they want to know why you are the person you are..? Because I can’t find the words to. We’ve touched down on the basic shit. But there’s one thing I’m leaving out. It’s hard to tell him I was once destroyed as a human. Heart broken.
Love’s a horrible thing if it’s not done right. I was such a shitty person during that time of my life. I didn’t care about shit, I didn’t treat people good, I was always depressed, I just hated life and everything about him. But I was in love with him, I’ve never had such a crazy, intense bond with some one in my life and frankly I don’t think I ever will.
I’m trying to forget him though, and by bringing it up to my new boyfriend is going to be hard. I don’t want to remember those things, and I know I couldn’t talk to him about it without crying. I’m doing my best to not talk to my ex, so far it’s working. I just don’t even want any thoughts in my mind about him. I’m trying to drown it out. Cause it still hurts. Still affects me.
I’m trying to learn to love again.. I think I’m getting there, I just can’t completely let him in an I feel if I tell him those things he’ll go away. I don’t want him to leave. He makes me feel better, loved. And I love that about him.